You be 419.

I’m currently reading my copy of “I do not come to you by chance”, a book by Nigerian Adaobi Nwaubani, about the life of a 419er, Kings. A week before I set my eyes on information about the book, though, I had started writing this article. So, the book only strengthened my resolve to finish it.

It’s a great read. I suggest everyone should get their own copy. Apart from the fact that she was able to express herself in plain easy English, she exposed the average reader to a bit of the Ibo culture, in such a way much encouraging than the average Nollywood movie. It also bared a different side of the story, the struggle that drives most people into the 419 trade. It’s definitely one book to pick up.

In my first years of knowledge of the internet fraud trend, popularly known as yahoo, I had an otherwise different perception of what they were. I don’t call them 419ers because 419 is more of a general term for the average crook and con-artist in Nigeria. I remember when my aunt was asked to send some large amount to my uncle, and got swindled at the car park, as she was being prayed for. Those are also 419ers.

When I heard the term ‘yahoo’, and I saw ‘dem boiz’ that bore the name, I thought it was either a fraternity of rich Nigerian boys (Gamma Nu Yahoo) of some sort. Or maybe it was a random name given to every Nigerian student that owned a car. They were cool, worked late nights, and had nothing but money on their minds, and persons as well. They slept and hung out all day, partied and worked all night, and were okay with the ‘B’ or ‘C’ they got in tests. (So it seemed at the time). They reeked of uniqueness, and stood out even among the other rich students.

A couple of late nights at the school Cyber-Café and listening to a few songs from Olu Maintain and Kelly Hansome did the trick. I was enlightened and awake to the reality of the job, and what earned them the title ‘yahoo boys’. I now knew that a yahoo boy did not, in any form of the word, work with Yahoo!Inc, but did most of their ‘work’ with yahoo emailing.

I am not a yahoo boy, God forbid.

That sentence should receive an award for the most clichéd university sentence consecutively for the past three years. We are as quick to admit we recognize the act, as quick as to deny any involvement with the craft. Babes deny that their boyfriends are yahoo boys, boys deny alike.

But they are our friends na.

Before they all added the currencies to their names, they were our birth-condition named Hausa, Igbo and Yoruba friends. Kola is ‘OluwaDollar’; Chike is ‘Mr. Pound Sterling’; and Lawal is LawiMoney. Need I say more?

Awareness, and a lot of it, has dealt the Nigerian youth the necessary blows to correct their warped mind-set and prove that yahoo is not to be seen as a way out. Adverts, songs, wallpapers have been made to that effect. As a strong believer in honest money-making, I’m also on the ‘maga no need pay’ train. On a critical view though, dare most of us open our mouths against the yahoo trade and the boys?

Fine girl, you’re cat walking like lizard, wearing Gucci and Louis Vuitton up, down, inside, carried, finger, ear, sole, and shades. You’re carrying a Blackberry®Torch™, and a Beats® over her head. Yet, you didn’t spend one penny on anything you’re wearing, down to the pencil inside your bag. Your yahoo boyfriend bought everything, your hairpin too. In your room, you boast of holding a mugu to ransom. Yet, you open your mouth to talk against the yahoo boy.

Young man, your ‘yahoo boy’ friend finances some of your random shopping. You infinitely borrowed your present belt from him, and the loafers too. You borrow his car every other day to impress that cheap babe of yours. You take all your flings to his dangerously furnished room to finish the job. You’re the main attraction at all of the parties he hosts. Or, on the other hand, you’re the roommate he bequeathed his entire home-sent foodstuff to. Yet, you openly agree with M.I. and his team of radicals that maga no need pay.

If your father is a corrupt politician or 419, it is very difficult (almost impossible) to correct such because you’re completely reliant on his money. But in this case where it is your friend in question, do we also recline to the comfort of our phones and songs to say yahoo is not good for Nigeria? Should we not make our stand obvious to our yahoo friends?

I boldly say, that if you praise and receive gifts from your yahoo friend, and then turn your back to condemn the trade, YOU BE 419.

As much as we admire their wealthy seemingly untroubled lives, and need their abundant monetary help every once in a while, if we claim not to agree with their way, shouldn’t we say it to them. Shouldn’t we advise them beyond reasonable doubt the evil of their ways? Even though it might fall on deaf ears as a result of the comfort the cheap cash provides, but then there is this sense of achievement that comes with making your stand obvious.

Or is it in our sycophancy that we advise the yahoo boys towards sparing Nigeria her honest reputation?