The Man and the Boy

It’s common-sense to imagine the relationship between man and boy as metamorphosis. As though the man emerges from the carcass of the boy.

But I think boy and man are born together. Side by side, from the beginning to the end. And perhaps a better way to visualize what happens in adulthood is that you prioritize the development of the man.

It’s tempting to imagine the man as the antithesis of the boy: serious, always in control, committed to his responsibilities. This is not only limiting, but also creates resentment.

Adulthood is a journey of self-fulfillment, engagement with civic, economic and political realities, and participation in the construction of society itself. Both boy and man are involved.

I was born 23 days before my childhood best friend. His dad was a stern, responsible man fully devoted to his family while my dad was a free, self-interested man who was often in and out.

To interpret Daddy Oke as man-ish and Daddy Isale as boy-ish is not to pit them in opposition but to express a difference in priorities.

The boy is self-interested; the man is a response to the world.